I stayed up until way past 2am trying to finish 'Babygirl', waiting for it to become the film I had hoped it'd be. Because it's not a secret that films, and stories in general, that don't abide by the myth that humans have an expiration date when it comes to romance, and specifically explore the lives, perspectives, dating habits, and sexual agency of women over the age of 40 are an extreme rarity. The same goes for stories that explore niche relationship dynamics without a deliberately edgy or sensationalistic aspect to them. Sadly, the film didn't live up to the expectations I had of it in that regard, at least on the first part.
As someone whose ideal relationship would be something resembling the one she already had with Antonio Banderas' character, and who would be so appalled by Harris Dickinson's Samuel that I'd be determined to avoid meeting the guy again for the rest of my life by the second time he would obnoxiously and overconfidently cross the line, I can't claim any expertise in regards to the themes that the movie tried to explore, but still I found the premise extremely interesting.
Nevertheless, sadly, all I can say is that the entire affair felt sterile, odd, with the lines between consent and coercion getting a bit too blurry for my taste. At the same time, it felt like the film was too scared to do anything too daring or groundbreaking, and chose to remain frustratingly tame and surface-level in the way it touched upon the two protagonists' psyches, desires, and actions.
On the plus side, the erotic scenes felt authentic, realistically awkward, and existed as part of the story with their main focus not being to titillate the audience but to serve the narrative. Romy's story is not an uncommon one. It's a frequent occurrence for women, of all ages, to go through entire relationships suppressing their desires and needs, sexual or otherwise, or to at least avoid discussing them, with frustrations and feelings piling up over the years. I just felt that the message would have been communicated way better if Romy wasn't also shown to have a loving, affectionate husband, who appeared perfectly willing to listen and communicate. Or if whatever barrier was keeping her stuck was made clearer.
To the film's credit, it's also a plus that it does hint that both Romy and Samuel are inexperienced, confused, and not exactly sure of what it is that they are doing. Their situationship is not presented as entirely healthy, or ideal, they both act sloppily and irresponsibly. That said, there's also a lack of accountability or consequence, for everyone involved, that leaves the story lacking.
Frankly, I really appreciate what the film tried to do, and the story it tried to tell. I hope we keep seeing more films exploring the perspectives of women in that light. I'd love to see more movies revolve around women in their 40s, 50s, or 60s, being flawed, being messy, falling in love, falling apart, and being imperfect. I just wish that 'Babygirl' had done it in a better way.
